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Posts from January 2008

Madness

Thursday 31st January 2008

Sometime last year, Microsoft bought 1.6% of Facebook. They paid $240 million, which puts the value of Facebook at about $15 billion.

$15 billion. For a website.

So, any guesses what Ford, a massive international company with lots of physical assets and a large base of loyal customers, is worth (according to Wall Street)?

Less than $15 billion.

OK, Ford is in dire straits at the moment (name an American car company that isn’t) but even so, thats complete madness.

Posted In: Uncategorized Tagged: | 4 Comments

New treatment discovered to improve efficacy of all medicines

Thursday 17th January 2008

It was announced today that a new treatment has been discovered which, it is claimed, can help improve the effectiveness of any medicine. The treatment is an additive to be taken orally at the same time as the medicine, and in a recent field trial in London it was found that patients who took the supplement at the same time as their medicine recovered up to three times faster than those who did not.

“The supplement acts with the medicine to help it enter the body much better” said Dr Poppins, who led the project at the Dover Institute for Scientifically New and Exciting Yarns (DISNEY). “Literally a single spoonful helps any medicine go down” she added.

The additive, which has already been hailed a “miracle drug” by doctors, has been revealed to be nothing more than pure sugar. However in approving the treatment, the National Insititute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) warned against doctors overprescribing it. “This is an amazing find, and everyone at DISNEY is to be applauded” commented Dr. Banks, a member of the Institute, “however we are concerned at the risk of medicines becoming immune to the sugar, in a similar way to bacteria and antibiotics. The treatment should, we feel, be prescribed only in the worst cases”.

The announcement has, however, prompted concerns from Weight Concern. “This idea is completely prepostorous!” Mr Kevin Burke, a spokesman for the charity said today. “This scheme is likely to increase obesity rates by 88%, especially amongst children. This is wholly unacceptable, and we suggest that members of the public should refrain from taking any medicine, just in case the excess sugar leads them to put on weight. We don’t want Britain to turn into a nation of stupid ugly fatties, like America”.

Dr Poppins responded that this is “poppycock of the highest order!” and added that “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. The medicine go down. The medicine go down! In a most delightful way”.

The NHS is reluctant to introduce the new treatment due to its expense.

Posted In: Random | 2 Comments

Worried/amazed/confused

Monday 14th January 2008

I’m trying to work out why anyone could think this is anything other than a horrendously bad idea.

It’s the sort of thing you’d expect to see on The Peter Serafinowicz Show…

Posted In: ProcrastinationRandom Tagged: | No Comments

Glumness

Tuesday 8th January 2008

Cold. Wet. Dark. Miserable. Damn I hate winter…

Honestly, it’s so depressing. Especially January. I hate January. Nothing seems to happen, except exams. And they’re right after Christmas, which was really good fun (and the only good thing to happen in winter), so obviously I’m nowhere near prepared for them. And obviously I’m nowhere near being in the mood to prepare for them, because its cold and dark and miserable everywhere. I just want to wrap myself up in bed with a selection of books, CDs, DVDs, chocolate and port, and gradually work my way through it all in time to emerge from my cocoon some time in March.

The thing is, from January to March seems to go reeeally slowly. And then March to October flash before your eyes, only for September to December to proceed at the correct pace. Honestly, last April seemed to go by in a week. I could swear that July lasted a day, not a month. Whereas February seemed to last about a year. Not fair! The crappy bit should go quickly, and the good bit should go slow! Not fair not fair not fair!

At least when I could drive, I could cheer myself up that way (driving in rain or snow or darkness is fun). Now I just have to wait for spring.

Hurry up please, spring…

Posted In: RantSleep Tagged: | 1 Comment