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New treatment discovered to improve efficacy of all medicines

Thursday 17th January 2008

It was announced today that a new treatment has been discovered which, it is claimed, can help improve the effectiveness of any medicine. The treatment is an additive to be taken orally at the same time as the medicine, and in a recent field trial in London it was found that patients who took the supplement at the same time as their medicine recovered up to three times faster than those who did not.

“The supplement acts with the medicine to help it enter the body much better” said Dr Poppins, who led the project at the Dover Institute for Scientifically New and Exciting Yarns (DISNEY). “Literally a single spoonful helps any medicine go down” she added.

The additive, which has already been hailed a “miracle drug” by doctors, has been revealed to be nothing more than pure sugar. However in approving the treatment, the National Insititute for Clinical Excellence (NICE) warned against doctors overprescribing it. “This is an amazing find, and everyone at DISNEY is to be applauded” commented Dr. Banks, a member of the Institute, “however we are concerned at the risk of medicines becoming immune to the sugar, in a similar way to bacteria and antibiotics. The treatment should, we feel, be prescribed only in the worst cases”.

The announcement has, however, prompted concerns from Weight Concern. “This idea is completely prepostorous!” Mr Kevin Burke, a spokesman for the charity said today. “This scheme is likely to increase obesity rates by 88%, especially amongst children. This is wholly unacceptable, and we suggest that members of the public should refrain from taking any medicine, just in case the excess sugar leads them to put on weight. We don’t want Britain to turn into a nation of stupid ugly fatties, like America”.

Dr Poppins responded that this is “poppycock of the highest order!” and added that “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. The medicine go down. The medicine go down! In a most delightful way”.

The NHS is reluctant to introduce the new treatment due to its expense.

Posted at 11:55 pm | Posted In: Random

2 Comments:

Lucy

Friday 18th January 2008, 8:42 pm

Just a spoonful of sugar helps the pint of beer go down?

:-P

Actually, ewww, beer and sugar…

dickie

Saturday 19th January 2008, 12:53 pm

Wasnt drunk if thats what you’re trying to insinuate :-P

I was procrastinating.

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